Well, since I last blogged, i managed to run 5.2 miles Saturday morning and 3 FROZEN miles on Monday. Which meant no running on Sunday or Tuesday. I know I need rest, too, but isn't that too much??? i hate the feeling of panic that overcomes me when I don't get to run. I finally figured out why, though. It's because I am afraid that I will quit and if I quit, I won't reach my goals of running the Winter Series and running the Shamrock half marathon (and maybe the "Dolphin Challenge", which include an 8K the day before the half) and I have a REAL problem with failing to meet my goals.
I guess in some ways that is a good trait that has served me well in this world. I have overcome a lot of obstacles and done a lot that no one ever really thought that I could. But at some point this pathological drive to succeed is going to drive me crazy! And it's not like I have an unrealistic definition of success... in my world, "success" in races is not dying before I reach the finish line. If I cross the line uninjured and still running (even though it is slow), then I have crushed the race. It is just an added bonus to get it done in a decent time. A PR is reaching a whole other realm of dreaming. :) At this point, I just want to DO these things and know that I have done them. I want my children to see me doing them and learn about dedication and effort. I want to feel that feeling of doing what no one but me ever believed I was capable of doing.
That being said, I am going for a run as soon as I get home!
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